Bridges on Proverbs 27:5-6

Charles Bridges on Proverbs 27:5-6


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5. Open rebuke is better than secret love. 6. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. {deceitful: or, earnest, or, frequent}

What is the friend, who will be a real blessing to my soul? Is it one, that will humor my fancies, and flatter my vanity? Is it enough, that he loves my person, and would spend his time and energies in my service? This comes far short of my requirement. I am a poor, straying sinner, with a wayward will and a blinded heart; going wrong at every step. The friend for my case is one, who will watch over me with open rebuke; but a reprover, when needful; not a flatterer. The genuineness of friendship without this mark is more than doubtful; its usefulness utterly paralyzed. That secret love, that dares not risk a faithful wound, and spares rebuke, rather than inflict pain, judged by God's standard, is hatred. (Leviticus 19:17.) Far better the wound should be probed than covered. Rebuke, kindly, considerately, and prayerfully administered, cements friendship, rather than loosens it.† The contrary instances only prove, that the union had never been based upon substantial principle.

Many indeed profess their value for a true friend; and yet in the most valuable discharge of friendship, they “count him their enemy.” The Apostle had some just apprehension on this account, though so wise and affectionate, and speaking from the mouth of God. (Galatians 4:12-16.) As if the rule of friendship was, that we should absolutely “please,” without reference to the Divine restriction — “for good to edification.” (Romans 15:2.) Christian faithfulness is the only way of acting up to our profession. And much guilt lies upon the conscience in the neglect.

But this open rebuke must not contravene the express rule of love — “telling the fault between thee and him alone.” Too often, instead of pouring it secretly into our brother's ear, it is proclaimed through the wide medium of the world's ear; and thus it passes through a multitude of channels, before it reaches its one proper destination. The openness of the rebuke describes the free and unreserved sincerity of the heart, not necessarily the public exposure of the offender; save when the character of the offense, or the interests of others, may appear to demand it. (1 Timothy 5:20.)

But never let a false tenderness be suffered to dilute a paramount obligation. Could Paul have answered to God for his secret love to a brother apostle, when the compromise of a fundamental principle called for open rebuke? (Galatians 2:11-14.) Obviously however the sin should be brought to view, ere we rebuke. Nor should we vehemently reprove involuntary slips (See Ecclesiasticus 19:16); much less forget the exercise of a loving spirit. Leighton's gentleness gave such a power to his reproof, that rare was the repetition of the offense; rather however from shame, than from the new principle. The mark of true godliness is an anxiety to have our faults pointed out; and a thankfulness to those who undertake the self-denying office.† ‘A faithful reprover is a very great help in our Christian course. He is to be valued above the greatest treasure.’ ‘He that would be safe’ — says one of the ancients — ‘must have a faithful friend, or a bitter enemy, that he may fly from vice by the monitions of the one, or the invective of the other.’† Much more valuable is this faithfulness, than the smooth politeness of the world's intercourse. Nay, some defect in this courtesy may be excused for the sake of the sterling quality.

The truest friend of man — his wounds are faithful. He will not pass by a single fault in his people. He acts upon his own rule from the most considerate regard to their best welfare. And who would not choose this faithful wound, however painful at the moment of infliction, rather than the deceitful kisses of the enemy?† The kiss of the apostate was a bitter ingredient in the Savior's cup of suffering.† His foreknowledge of the treachery,† in no degree weakened those exquisite sensibilities, which, from their intimate union with the Godhead, rendered him susceptible of suffering beyond all comprehension.†

Leviticus 19:17

17 Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him. {and...: or, that thou bear not sin for him}

Footnote:

Chapter 9:8; 28:23. Matthew 18:15.

Proverbs 9:8

8 Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.

Proverbs 28:23

23 ¶ He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue.

Matthew 18:15

15 ¶ Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

Galatians 4:12-16

12 ¶ Brethren, I beseech you, be as I am; for I am as ye are: ye have not injured me at all. 13 Ye know how through infirmity of the flesh I preached the gospel unto you at the first. 14 And my temptation which was in my flesh ye despised not, nor rejected; but received me as an angel of God, even as Christ Jesus. 15 Where is then the blessedness ye spake of? for I bear you record, that, if it had been possible, ye would have plucked out your own eyes, and have given them to me. {Where...: or, What was then} 16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?

Romans 15:2

2 Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.

1 Timothy 5:20

20 Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

Galatians 2:11-14

11 ¶ But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed. 12 For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision. 13 And the other Jews dissembled likewise with him; insomuch that Barnabas also was carried away with their dissimulation. 14 But when I saw that they walked not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel, I said unto Peter before them all, If thou, being a Jew, livest after the manner of Gentiles, and not as do the Jews, why compellest thou the Gentiles to live as do the Jews?

See Ecclesiasticus 19:16

16 And believe not every word. There is one, that slippeth with the tongue, but not from his heart.

Footnote:

Nehemiah 5:7-13. Even when given most rashly and unkindly, one of the meekest of men could say — ‘I was thankful to God for admonishing me, and my gratitude to the man was, I think, unfeigned.’ In his journal, the reprover's name was found specially remembered in prayer. Martyn's Life, chapter 3.

Nehemiah 5:7-13

7 Then I consulted with myself, and I rebuked the nobles, and the rulers, and said unto them, Ye exact usury, every one of his brother. And I set a great assembly against them. {I consulted...: Heb. my heart consulted in me} 8 And I said unto them, We after our ability have redeemed our brethren the Jews, which were sold unto the heathen; and will ye even sell your brethren? or shall they be sold unto us? Then held they their peace, and found nothing to answer. 9 Also I said, It is not good that ye do: ought ye not to walk in the fear of our God because of the reproach of the heathen our enemies? 10 I likewise, and my brethren, and my servants, might exact of them money and corn: I pray you, let us leave off this usury. 11 Restore, I pray you, to them, even this day, their lands, their vineyards, their oliveyards, and their houses, also the hundredth part of the money, and of the corn, the wine, and the oil, that ye exact of them. 12 Then said they, We will restore them, and will require nothing of them; so will we do as thou sayest. Then I called the priests, and took an oath of them, that they should do according to this promise. 13 Also I shook my lap, and said, So God shake out every man from his house, and from his labour, that performeth not this promise, even thus be he shaken out, and emptied. And all the congregation said, Amen, and praised the LORD. And the people did according to this promise. {emptied: Heb. empty, or, void}

Footnote:

Bp. Kidder.

Footnote:

Chapter 26:23-26. Nehemiah 6:2.

Proverbs 26:23-26

23 ¶ Burning lips and a wicked heart are like a potsherd covered with silver dross. 24 ¶ He that hateth dissembleth with his lips, and layeth up deceit within him; {dissembleth: or, is known} 25 When he speaketh fair, believe him not: for there are seven abominations in his heart. {speaketh...: Heb. maketh his voice gracious} 26 Whose hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness shall be shewed before the whole congregation. {by...: or, in secret}

Nehemiah 6:2

2 That Sanballat and Geshem sent unto me, saying, Come, let us meet together in some one of the villages in the plain of Ono. But they thought to do me mischief.

Footnote:

Matthew 26:48, 49, with Psalm 41:9; 55:12, 13.

Matthew 26:48, 49

48 Now he that betrayed him gave them a sign, saying, Whomsoever I shall kiss, that same is he: hold him fast. 49 And forthwith he came to Jesus, and said, Hail, master; and kissed him.

with

Psalm 41:9

9 Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me. {mine...: Heb. the man of my peace} {lifted...: Heb. magnified}

Psalm 55:12, 13

12 For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: 13 But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance. {mine equal: Heb. according to my rank}

Footnote:

John 6:70; 13:18-26.

John 6:70

70 Jesus answered them, Have not I chosen you twelve, and one of you is a devil?

John 13:18-26

18 ¶ I speak not of you all: I know whom I have chosen: but that the scripture may be fulfilled, He that eateth bread with me hath lifted up his heel against me. 19 Now I tell you before it come, that, when it is come to pass, ye may believe that I am he. {Now: or, From henceforth} 20 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that receiveth whomsoever I send receiveth me; and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me. 21 When Jesus had thus said, he was troubled in spirit, and testified, and said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me. 22 Then the disciples looked one on another, doubting of whom he spake. 23 Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved. 24 Simon Peter therefore beckoned to him, that he should ask who it should be of whom he spake. 25 He then lying on Jesus' breast saith unto him, Lord, who is it? 26 Jesus answered, He it is, to whom I shall give a sop, when I have dipped it. And when he had dipped the sop, he gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon. {sop: or, morsel}

Footnote:

Philip Henry beautifully describes the proper offices and uses of Christian reproof. ‘To reprove a brother is like as, when he is fallen, to help hip up again, when he is wounded, to help to cure him; when he hath broken a bone, to help to set it; when he is out of the way, to put him in it; when he is fallen into the fire, to pluck him out; when he hath contracted defilement, to help to cleanse.’ — Life, chapter 10.