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17. Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.
Once more the wise man returns to the subject of discipline. These repeated inculcations† strongly shew its importance. The command is positive — Correct thy son. How can an upright judgment evade or explain away a plain, literal rule? This book of Proverbs is not out of date. Like every other part of the Sacred Volume, it is the Book for every age; “given by inspiration of God; profitable for doctrine, and written for our learning.”† To try therefore more self-pleasing rules, is to set up our will in opposition to God's; reason or feeling in the stead of faith. It is making ourselves “wise above that which is written.”
The measure and mode of correction indeed must depend upon the age, sex, temper of the child, the character, the aggravation, or the mitigated circumstances, of the fault. But let it be, like our gracious Father's discipline, never more than can be borne.† Make due allowance for any marks of ingenuous confession. Yet with a wise application of the principle, there must be no exception to the rule. Different tempers, like different soils, require corresponding difference of treatment. But discipline there must be; not relaxed in fondness, not pushed on in harshness; but authority tempered with love.† If a gentle hand cannot control, a stronger hand must be applied.
We may take rest without correction; but such rest will bring trouble in the end. The true rest is that, which our child will give; and that he may give it, the rule is — Correct.† We may be assured, that God would not have so insisted upon it, if a blessing was not with it. If Eli was rejected, it was because in this matter he “honored his sons above God.”† Those men “that honor him” above their sons “he will honor.” Pain is the present exercise both to parent and child,† but the after blessing is secured. (Hebrews 12:11.) Ground well tilled, trees carefully pruned, “bring forth more fruit.”
Observe how the objection of parental weakness is anticipated. ‘If I put my son to pain, will he not hate me?’ No — when “left to himself,” he was a deep and anxious trouble. Now he shall give thee rest. Before — he “brought thee to shame.” (Verse 15.) Now he shall give delight to thy soul.† The momentary feelings of the child under correction will give way to the conviction of the parent's wisdom and regard for his profit. (Hebrews 12:9.)
Yet the rule against discouragement would not have been repeated, had there not been some parental evil to be corrected. “Provocation” revolts, transfers confidence to most unworthy associates, and brings into ruinous temptations. Children claim a considerate treatment. They must not be driven by brute force. Authority must be tempered with love. The grounds of extraordinary commands should be explained to them. What is good should be liberally commended. The best construction should be put upon defective efforts. The distinction should be carefully drawn between weakness and willfulness, between heedlessness and obstinacy. Home should be gladdened with the invigorating joy of spring, and replete with every wholesome indulgence. Every attempt should be made to gain confidence, so that the child, instead of a cold trembling reserve, should run into our arms. But in this glowing atmosphere, forget not God's rule. The completeness of discipline is the father's firmness combined with the mother's tenderness; each infusing into the other the quality of each. A wise parent will put his seal to the testimony, that this well-disciplined education is the surest means of securing the children's affection, gratitude, and reverence.
In fine — on this important subject so often enforced — we are not taught to believe without promises, or to obey without precepts. The Book of Proverbs exhibits cause and effect — the certain consequence of a given course of action, whether good or evil. It sets out promise and obligation — promise fulfilled in the way of obligation. The promised blessing to godly parental discipline is written in beams of living light. If the grace of the promise be lost, it is only by unbelief in the promise, or by a presumptuous confidence in it (separating the end from the means) such as brings shame in the issue. It is not that God is untrue, but that we are unfaithful. God has given the promise. Man either slights, rejects or abuses it. He attempts to put aside the Scripture by an appeal to experience, instead of proving the faithfulness of God by “the obedience of faith.” The commands — the directions — the promises — the blessing — all are the Lord's. Put his word to the test. The simplicity and perseverance of faith will be richly honored in his own best time and way.
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