Bridges on Proverbs 13:24
 
 
Charles Bridges on Proverbs 13:24
 
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24.  He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
 
Among the many modern theories of education, how often is God's system overlooked! Yet should not this be our pattern and standard? The rod of discipline is its main character; not harsh severity, but a wise, considerate, faithful exercise; always aiming at the subjugation of the will, and the humbling and purifying of the heart. Here however God and man are at issue. Man often spares the rod, because he loves the child. This at least he calls love. But is not our Father's love to his children inconceivably more yearning than that of an earthly parent? Yet does he not spare the rod — “What son is he, whom the Father chasteneth not?” (Hebrews 12:7.) Is the rod the proof of his hatred? “Whom the LORD loveth, he chasteneth.” (Ib. verse 6. Deuteronomy 8:5. Revelation 3:19.) Nay — he gives us his Divine judgment — He that spareth the rod, hateth the child. Does he not act at least as if he hated him; omitting a duty so necessary for his welfare; winking at the indulgence of vicious habits and a wayward will, so surely issuing in bitter sorrow?† Is not this delivering him up to his worst enemy? Better that the child had been trained in the house of strangers, than that he should thus be the unhappy victim of the cruelty of parental love.
The discipline of our children must therefore commence with self-discipline. Nature teaches to love them much. But we want a controlling principle, to teach us to love them wisely. The indulgence of our children has its root in self-indulgence. We do not like putting ourselves to pain. The difficulties indeed can only be known by experience. And even in this school one parent cannot measure the trials of another. But all our children are children of Adam. “Foolishness is bound up in their hearts.” (Chapter 22:15. Genesis 8:21.) All choose from the first dawn of reason, the broad road of destruction. (Isaiah 53:6.) And can we bear the thought, that they should walk in that road? We pray for their conversion. But prayer without teaching is mockery, and Scripture teaching implies chastening.† Discipline therefore must be. All need the rod, some again and again. Yet it must be the father's rod, yearning over his chastened child (Psalm 103:13), even while he dares “not spare him for his crying.” (Chapter 19:18.) The rod without affection is revolting tyranny.
But often do we hear mourning over failure. And is not this the grand reason? We do not chastise betimes. (Ib.) Satan begins with the infant in arms! (Psalm 58:3. Isaiah 48:8.) The cry of passion is his first stir of the native corruption. Do we begin as early? Every vice commences in the nursery. The great secret is to establish authority in the dawn of life; to bend the tender twig before the knotty oak is beyond our power.† A child, early trained by parental discipline, will probably preserve the wholesome influence to the end of life.
But fearful indeed is the difficulty, when the child has been the early master; to begin chastening, when the habit of disobedience has been formed and hardened; to have the first work to do, when the child is growing out of childhood, and when the unreserved confidence needs to be established. Rarely indeed does this late experiment succeed: while the severity necessary to enforce it is not less dangerous than painful. “It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.” (Lamentations 3:27.)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Hebrews 12:7
7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
 
 
Hebrews 12:6
6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
 
Deuteronomy 8:5
5 Thou shalt also consider in thine heart, that, as a man chasteneth his son, so the LORD thy God chasteneth thee.
 
Revelation 3:19
19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
 
 
Footnote:
Chapter 29:15.1 Samuel 3:13. 1 Kings 1:6; 2:25. Compare 2 Samuel 13:39; 18:33.
 
 
Proverbs 29:15
15 ¶ The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
 
1 Samuel 3:13
13 For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. {For I...: or, And I will tell him} {vile: or, accursed} {restrained...: Heb. frowned not upon them}
 
1 Kings 1:6
6 And his father had not displeased him at any time in saying, Why hast thou done so? and he also was a very goodly man; and his mother bare him after Absalom. {at any...: Heb. from his days}
 
1 Kings 2:25
25 And king Solomon sent by the hand of Benaiah the son of Jehoiada; and he fell upon him that he died.
 
Compare
2 Samuel 13:39
39 And the soul of king David longed to go forth unto Absalom: for he was comforted concerning Amnon, seeing he was dead. {longed: or, was consumed}
 
2 Samuel 18:33
33 And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Proverbs 22:15
15 ¶ Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
 
Genesis 8:21
21 And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done. {a sweet...: Heb. a savour of rest or, satisfaction} {for the imagination: or, through the imagination}
 
 
Isaiah 53:6
6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. {laid...: Heb. made the iniquity of us all to meet on him}
 
 
Footnote:
The Scripture term combines chastening with instruction — LXX. Verse 18. Ephesians 6:4. Hebrews 12:6. Compare Psalm 94:12; Psalm 119:67, 71.
 
 
LXX. Proverbs 13:18
18 ¶ Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured.
 
Ephesians 6:4
4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
 
Hebrews 12:6
6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
 
Compare
Psalm 94:12
12 ¶ Blessed is the man whom thou chastenest, O LORD, and teachest him out of thy law.
 
Psalm 119:67, 71
67 ¶ Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word. 71 ¶ It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Psalm 103:13
13 Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.
 
 
Proverbs 19:18
18 ¶ Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. {for...: or, to his destruction: or, to cause him to die}
 
 
Psalm 58:3
3 The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies. {as soon...: Heb. from the belly}
 
Isaiah 48:8
8 Yea, thou heardest not; yea, thou knewest not; yea, from that time that thine ear was not opened: for I knew that thou wouldest deal very treacherously, and wast called a transgressor from the womb.
 
 
Footnote:
 
Principiis obsta; sero medicina paratur,
Cum mala per longas convaluere moras. — Ovid.
 
 
Lamentations 3:27
27 It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.